Disappointment and Laughter…
I often refer to an area east of Bend, an ancient channel in the landscape of what we now call a dry river. It has been thousands of years since water flowed regularly through this depression in the desert. I wander through parts of this natural landform to explore remnants of geology and erosion. In a few places one can see water-smoothed boulders with strangely symmetrical holes, as if they were bored by a machine. These openings in the basalt fill with water when sparse rains fall. This helps quench the thirst of mountain cottontails, pronghorns, coyotes, badgers and avian species.
Between cracks in the fractured rock bed of the channel, a host of wildflowers have taken root. I suspect the rough terrain catches wind blown seeds. Because the unique geology allows for retention of moisture, at least for awhile, the flowers grow in abundance. Large flowered goldenweed, a species of sandwort, and prairie smoke, coyote mint, usually found in other bio zones, seem to like it here. Tarn and I have counted as many as 30 wildflower species in this pocket of otherwise arid high desert.
On our last trip to the area we were stunned by the sight of all the junipers trees cut down and drying in the sun. I felt like I was stabbed in the gut. The few trees had provided a bit of shade, delaying evaporation of the little pockets of moisture. To top it off, the area was now an active grazing lease. Cattle were everywhere and we could see where our beloved flowers were munched alongside the grasses. I felt deeply disappointed. I know, I know—the law of impermanence. But I could feel my heart sink and carried this feeling for a few days until I could contact the BLM and have a conversation. I wanted them to be aware of the unique ecological zone that now seems destroyed.
I was able to speak with the wildlife biologist in charge of that area and was awakened to something I did not recognize. It is actually a sage grouse habitat restoration area and the tree cutting helps to restore the natural sagebrush habitat. A wonderful thing. There will be some loss of my wildflower happiness for awhile until the area recovers. The cattle, on the other hand… The very kind BLM official tried to help me understand there is less impact by brief grazing than most folks realize. I was not completely convinced, but he sent me studies I am studying. He also wants me to send our identified plant list to include in their considerations for the area.
Anyway, the upshot of this whole event just confirmed that we never know what we see except for our own projections. I am a bit embarrassed that I needed to feel anger and disappointment for a few days. But I rest in the fact I am not completely enlightened—so the pressure is off. And I know the work I need to do in settling my untamed mind. Buddha is laughing, and I join in his laughter. Another positive outcome is that I now have a new acquaintance in the BLM who shares my love of the sagebrush steppe environment.