Lost and Found

When meditation practice ripens and our attachment to the ego-self begins to erode, we wonder what its all about. All the meaning we have assigned to the appearance of external objects and how we view ourselves seems arbitrary and fleeting. This awareness is quite beautiful but sometimes unsettling. We may experience a feeling of being unmoored, cast adrift in a spacious sea.

I asked mom the other day how she was doing and she said, “I am lost.” A flash of fear appeared in her eyes. I wish she could see the opportunity presented. If she could rest in the lostness, she might find more peace. She would not need to reconfigure a sense of self to satisfy the old habit of existing. My responsibility, however, is to be a temporary mooring place so she may feel safe.

Meditation challenges the habit of existence. The “I” fiercely defends the choice to exist but love does not harbor such a notion. Love seeks expression without limitation, without condition. If our Bodhicitta is strong, it overcomes the will to shore up our sense of separate existence. It unmoors us from the habit.

Experiencing peace while being lost in unknown territory would be a good description of the fruit of meditation practice. It is like that childlike joy of setting out on a trail into wilderness. Meditative absorption is freely roaming the unbound wisdom of mind while, at the same time, feeling the stability of love.

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